


Retribution for being an Ass

by writingdetritus



Series: Kiss the Sky [3]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Thunder and Lightning, they are now officially dating for reals, this is just a fluff piece enjoy, very very frightening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 11:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdetritus/pseuds/writingdetritus
Summary: Fiona and Maya are stranded in the Pandoran desert, and decide to camp out for the night.





	Retribution for being an Ass

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3 of [ Kiss the Sky](http://archiveofourown.org/series/815361) series (you don't have to read them in order but they are chronological)

A cold bottle of beer pressed into Fiona’s bare neck making her jump, and hit her head on the open hood of the caravan where she had been sweating over the ripped up belt that had busted a few hours earlier. Twisting around, she looked back to see Maya grinning and still holding out the glistening Bandit Wheat beer, the sun rimming her blue hair with gold.

“Ow?” Fiona said, slipping out from under the hood.

“Sorry,” Maya handed her the bottle and leaned against the front of the caravan next to Fiona, although she looked the opposite of apologetic.

Fiona popped the lid of the beer off using the lip of the bumper and took a swig. She was covered in black grease and her white tank was completely ruined. The freezing cold liquid slid down her spine making her slightly shiver, despite the brutal beating the sun was giving her skin. A breeze rustled the few scraggly plants around them, and a dust devil kicked up in the distance as the sun hit the distant mountain range. Looking the opposite direction from the mountains, the desert stretched seemingly endlessly. “How long have I been working out here?” Fiona asked, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand, trying to remember where the sun had been when she first pulled over, the smoke billowing from the hood making her cough and distracting her from their surroundings completely.

“Well let’s just say _you_ are no Scooter,” Maya laughed. Fiona sighed. They looked out across the desert, dusty mountains slowly turning purple as the sun began its descent behind, Elpis casting down its own cold light. The screech of a Rakk finding prey echoed eerily back to them, repeating itself into obscurity.

“I’m exhausted, I don’t think I’ll get it running tonight. You ok with camping out?” Fiona asked. Maya bumped shoulders with Fiona, and took a swig of her beer.

“We could have some fun,” Maya winked.

Fiona groaned, hanging her head, “Maya… I’m disgusting. I’m all hot and sweaty.”

“Exactly how I like you,” Maya moved in front of Fiona, pressing into her, and pushed the hood of the caravan down. It clicked, and Fiona shivered again, despite the heat, as Maya’s hand pressed into the small of her back. “Come on, you’ve been either driving all day or working out here. I think this car is getting too much attention.”

“Well she needs a lot of… tender loving… care,” Fiona pressed her face into the corner of Maya’s shoulder and neck, breathing her in.

“So do I!” Maya leaned away, a smirk twisting her mouth. “I need lots of tending to.”

“Oh my god,” Fiona sighed, reaching her arms up and wrapped them around Maya’s neck. “Fine. Come here.” Maya pulled Fiona up, and kissed her deeply. The wind picked up, blowing Maya’s and Fiona’s hair into a frenzy, rough sand hitting their bare skin.

“Maybe we should head in,” Fiona suggested, putting her hand up to her face, protecting her eyes.

 

The caravan rattled and shook as Fiona curled up on the couch, watching Maya heat up water on the stove. “What are you making?” Fiona asked, watching Maya kick her foot against the heel of the other.

“Coffee? Tea? Ooh, maybe hot chocolate,” Maya turned and grinned at Fiona, and then frowned, raising a finger to point at Fiona. “You’re getting everything all greasy! Go clean up.”

“Make me,” Fiona stayed poker faced, watching as Maya’s eyes narrowed. Fiona was always entranced by the way Maya moved, almost feline - definitely predatory. Women who could overpower Fiona… well… let’s just say she liked it. Even in the big cozy sweater that Maya had donned, Fiona could see the powerful figure full of taut muscle and sliding sinew work as Maya pounced.

“Oh yeah?” Maya whispered into Fiona’s ear. Fiona felt hotter than ever, her breathing coming up short. Maya’s tattoo’s glowed slightly on her neck and chest as she scraped her teeth along Fiona’s jawline. “Like this?”

“Hmm,” Fiona rolled her eyes to the ceiling, desperately trying to conceal how great it felt. “I don’t know….”

“Then, maybe like this!” And suddenly Maya’s long fingers were pinching at Fiona’s sides, making her gasp and slip sideways on the couch, fruitlessly trying to get away from Maya.

“Okay! _Okay_!! You win!” Fiona pushed Maya away with a her bare foot, protecting her face and chest from her. “Let me wash up, geeze.” Maya tittered and slunk back to the stove and the cabinets, rummaging through them to make some sort of warm drink. Good luck, Fiona didn’t even know what Sasha had stored in there last, if anything at all.

Fiona rubbed at her eyes, and then stood up and carefully shimmied behind Maya to the tiny pull-down sink, steadying herself as the caravan quaked in the storm. The water was ice cold as she splashed it on her face, a rare occurrence considering that the caravan was a pinpoint of extreme heat during the day. A beacon of searing heat. Essentially it turned into a nuclear powered microwave, ready to cook whoever was inside. When the A/C would conk out on her and Sasha (which was often),they would have to make an “emergency pit stop to pull up the canvas awning and down some of the emergency beers that were always kept cold… in case of emergencies.” But tonight it was blisteringly cold, the change from earlier almost a shock to the system, and Fiona’s skin erupted in goosebumps as she washed up.

Fiona looked over the towel that she pressed to her face, to watch Maya stir her concoction up on the stove top. “All clean?” Maya asked, looking at Fiona from the corner of her eye.

“Gotta get out of these clothes,” Fiona stood up straight and stretched her arms above her head.

“HA,” Maya snorted. “Yeah you do.”

“Hey!”

“You know what I mean,” Maya winked.

“Turn on some music will you?” Fiona asked, waltzing behind the dressing screen and pulled off the practically ruined top. “Damn.” She muttered, tossing it aside. That black grease was never going to wash out.

Suddenly the caravan reverberated with a heavy beat and guitar riffs as Maya switched on the stereo system. Fiona covered her chest and sneakily peeked out from behind the screen to voyeuristically watch Maya.

Maya dipped to the beat, hips swaying, hands on the back of the driver’s seat. Just as before, Fiona was enraptured by Maya’s movements. They were calculated (but not like Zer0’s almost robotic movements), they were casual and loose (but not how either Sasha moved or Mordecai’s sloping gait), and Fiona couldn’t help but press her knuckles gently to her lips in silent  excitement, because she knew the dance must be for her.

“Stop watching and get dressed!” Maya called over the music, and Fiona couldn’t help but laugh as she ducked back behind the screen and pulled on a loose t-shirt and shorts.

When she came back around, Maya was sitting down on the couch, her feet up on the table, twitching to the beat. She pushed a mug of hot chocolate ( _of course, what a sweet tooth_ ) to Fiona. She sat down next to her blue haired freak and clutched at the mug with both hands.

“Weird how the weather changed,” Maya commented. To Fiona, who grew up on Pandora, it wasn’t terribly unusual. But she had to constantly remind herself that Maya hadn’t grown up on this wretched planet, but somewhere much more idyllic. At least in looks… “Perfect for watching some TV and eating junk food.”

“Play video games?” Fiona offered.

“Whatcha got?” Maya asked, shifting her feet from the table to under herself, curling up and looking smugly over at Fiona.

“Uhhh,” Fiona bent over and opened the cupboard that was built into the base of the couch. “Not many… Pretty sure Sasha and I broke most of the ones we could find playing them too much.” She rummaged around. “Ohhhh hey, here we go. A _classic._ ” Fiona walked over to the two cupboard doors that hid the old TV. It was a heavy ass box, with bunny ear antennas included. “Sometimes it likes being black and white, sometimes just black OR white, so… sorry if it is.” She interested the disc and switched on the TV. Sasha had lost the remote ages and ages ago. Fiona had a sneaking suspicion though, that Sasha had originally hid it from Fiona so she wouldn’t record over her show. But as the threats from Fiona came more frequently to shave Sasha’s head, the remote stayed longer and longer in its forgotten hole. Damn Sasha.

The TV sputtered to life, the screen banding in a repeated pattern. “Ever get weird alien communications on that thing?” Maya commented. Fiona smirked, plugging in the two controllers, one duct taped to still be held together. “What are we playing anyway?”

“Just something old, called _Interstellar Poprocket_ ,” Fiona tossed Maya the small controller and sat down beside her. “Get ready to get Rekt.”

“Oh it’s on,” Maya leaned forward and joined the game as Player 2.

 

After an hour where Fiona finally was able to whoop ass against her supposed ‘almighty’ girlfriend, Maya threw the controller down on the table and crawled her way towards Fiona on all fours. “Okay, I got it, I got Rekt.”

“Retribution,” Fiona muttered, tossing her controller aside.

“Tit for tat?” Maya pushed Fiona to the side so she slid down onto the couch and under Maya, exactly where she wanted Fiona to be, her legs straddling Fiona.

“Retribution for being an ass,” Fiona grinned, pushing herself further down the couch, pushing her hips against Maya’s thighs.

“So, I forfeit to your superior gaming skills,” Maya leaned down, blue hair tickling Fiona’s nose and cheeks. “What do you want me to do?”

Fiona playfully looked up at the ceiling of the caravan, tapping her finger on the corner of her mouth, “Hmmm, let’s see.” Maya sighed impatiently. “I want you… to kiss me. Kiss me… in all the right places.” And Fiona pulled Maya’s blue lipsticked lips to her own.

Just as they began to get hot and heavy, a loud thundering crack shook the caravan violently, sending Maya off of Fiona, who sat up so quickly she felt light headed. Just like the universe to always interrupt.

“What the hell was that?” Maya asked, shakily standing.

“Probably lightning,” Fiona said wearily. “I should probably go check real fast.”

“Whoa whoa, dude,” Maya scrambled to her feet, successfully towering over Fiona with her height as she blocked the door. “You just said lightning. And we’re in a metal hunk of _strike me_. If you stand outside with this storm next to the caravan….”

“Aw! Are you worried about me?” Fiona asked, hand on hip. Maya scrunched her mouth to the side. “Anyway, the caravan is taller than me and if I don’t touch the metal I should be ok. I’m just going to make sure that the tires aren’t melted or somethin’. Also should probably put up the lightning rod. Just so we don’t get hit and lose power.”

“Ookay,” Maya crossed her arms. Fiona patted her elbow and then stepped around her to open the door. “Wait, don’t you want a coat? You’ll get wet.”

Fiona gave her a sideways look, confused. “It’s not raining…?”

“But… lightning, thunderstorm? Doesn’t that mean rain?”

“We’re in a desert that rains like once a year… It’s just static electricity or something. It’s a wind storm,” Fiona paused, staring at Maya. Had she never been in this situation before? “I’ll explain when I get back. Just, sit down. I’ll be out for like two minutes max.”

Fiona opened the door to the cold dark purple atmosphere outside, her hair whipping her face so hard it hurt. She quickly ran around the caravan, checking to see nothing was broken, arms wrapped tightly around herself. Seeing everything was ok, and knowing the next strike would probably happen soon, Fiona groped around in the darkness till she found the rope that would hoist up the lightning rod that had been installed a few years ago. While she and Sasha had never had any problems while in a thunderstorm, their poor caravan used to take such a beating that the generator would blow, and the antenna would explode. The third time Sasha had to bury an antenna with a quick “requiescat in pace” at the junkyard, she insisted they install the rod. Blinking through the sand, Fiona saw the tall metal rod swaying in the wind, she quickly grabbed for the end of the wire that held a metal post. This was the dangerous part. Counting in her head, she slammed the post in the ground to complete the circuit. A quick sigh, and she headed back inside.

Maya was sitting at the driver’s seat, foot hooked into the steering wheel, chewing her finger nail pensively, blue hair still a bit of a mess from Fiona’s tangling hands. Fiona crept up behind her and wrapped her arms around her chest. “You ok?”

“I sometimes fool myself into thinking I’m all knowing, you know?” Maya said, putting her hand down onto the steering wheel, staring out into the darkness.

“And you think I am?”

“Course not.”

“Ouch.”

Maya sighed, “You know that’s not what I mean. I just feel like I came to Pandora looking for adventure and treasure and answers to really big questions, but I still feel like such a kid sometimes. I don’t even understand how nature works. I was so damn sheltered.”

“And I was the complete opposite,” Fiona put her chin on Maya’s shoulder, looking through the windshield at the sandstorm blowing past.. “Wouldn’t say it was much better.”

“Yeah, well at least you know how to handle a storm.”

“At least I have you as a bodyguard. Anyway, stop worrying,” Fiona moved around so she was closer to facing Maya. “But I gotta ask you, did you not have storms on your planet or something?”

Maya laughed, gently scuffing Fiona’s chin with her fist, “Of course dummy, but Athenas was more jungle than desert. We just had rainstorms really. Heavy monsoon type stuff.”

“That’s awesome, can’t say I’ve ever seen that much water fall out of the sky,” Fiona sighed. What she wouldn’t give to see other planets. She shook herself. “Come on, let’s get some sleep or at least something like it.” She pulled at Maya’s hands, making her stand up.

“Probably something like it,” Maya bit her lip as she pulled back at Fiona, tugging her against herself, and then leaned down and kissed her softly.

 

Fiona bent over, stretching her back, her hands pressed into the edge of the hood of the stupid piece of crap caravan. The sun had returned and beat into her skin like a railroad spike or something piercing. Maya sat on the roof, sniper in hand, looking down the scope at distant rakk, a green visor shielding her forehead and eyes.

Fiona stood straight and looked around the desert. Nothing. Nothing out here for miles. The engine should be running - she had replaced the faulty starter and even cleaned the oil out, and even had somewhat repaired the fan belt. She looked back down at the dead motor.

Angrily, Fiona leaned in and smacked the starter. It rolled over once. Still nothing.

“Have you thought about just pouring gas right in there?” Maya yelled down.

Fiona smacked it again, “Of course.”

“Want me to flood it or something?”

“NO.” Fiona leaned down again, watching the sweat drip down her nose.

“Come on girl, I’m hot and you’re hot and we’re all hot and done with being out here. Please.”

Fiona, ignoring the sass from the perched silhouette above her, reached back into the motor and tapped at some random bolts, twisted some caps and then checked to see if there was still water. Everything seemed fine.

“I’m gonna go see if ignition is ok,” Fiona yelled up at Maya, before heading back inside. She leaned down below the driver’s seat and pulled out some wires. Maybe hot wiring it….

As Fiona stripped a wire, the caravan gave a loud and ferocious roar, and suddenly was rumbling to life. “What the fuck….” Fiona stared at the wires in her hands. Nothing she had done should have started the engine. The slam of the hood alerted her to - “Maya!” Fiona jumped up and then dashed out of the caravan to see Maya leaning against the rumbling hood. “How?!”

“Can’t tell you my secrets,” Maya winked. “Let’s hit the road.”

Fiona stared flabbergasted as Maya in her shorts and tank sashayed past her. But she wasn’t going to question it.

Fiona took her place in the driver’s seat and put it into gear as Maya settled down next to her, tuning into the radio. “Hey, I think DJ Rakk Attakk is on!” She said as the beat filled the caravan.

Fiona pressed pedal to the metal and they were out of the stupid desert.

**Author's Note:**

> I am single-handedly making this ship a real ship


End file.
